I’m Thinking About Giving Up.

I’m thinking about giving up.

Yep, that’s it. No catch. I really am thinking about giving up. God has used my heart and broke me down more than ever in my life and my relationship with Him has never been better.

I decided this week to make myself a project. I decided that this week I would participate and do everything (short of sin) that the “world” (culture) says I am suppose to do. Everything. Went to work, tennis practice, mowed the yard, went grocery shopping, watched my favorite show, watched someone else’s favorite show, played video games, went out to dinner with friends, gossiped, chased my tail, ran silly errands, etc. and now its Thursday. I did this because I wanted to. See I am usually the weirdo that says no that’s ok, you guys go ahead. I am usually the guy that begs you to sit down with me and watch Francis Chans' latest podcast. But not this week, I decided to “really live” this week.

However, now it’s Thursday morning and I am preparing my mind to worship this weekend and I feel like a total hypocrite. Sure I could use the Grace card and find scriptures in the Bible that supports that God is forgiving and Loves me just the way I am, and although I do understand and believe that, I also know that this would just make it worse.

God is changing my heart and in doing so I am realizing that “We are the body.”

IF WE ARE THE BODY. It’s not about your building, it’s about YOU. If you are reading this right now, that means YOU.

I just want to have a relationship with God first and foremost. I want to lie in my backyard each day and spend time alone with Him. I want to sit on the beach and read to my kids about how God created this earth and that first and foremost He is our Father not I. And it pains me to know that an angry deacon or church member who doesn’t think I or my children should wear sandals, or bring coffee cups into “his” church could get in between that relationship. Many of you may read that and think man, he’s upset. But I am not. In fact this is not about me being upset; it’s about being in Love with Jesus Christ.

I am sure some people are reading this and thinking “I can’t believe he just said that” but just remember if I didn’t say it and I just smiled and then acted differently later, it would hurt you more. I am just being transparent. I am no where near perfect. I have sinned many times in my life and still battle with it daily. But I am not starting with you, I am starting with me. So I’m thinking about giving up on the things that are getting in between my relationship with God, even if that means the church.

Chad